It’s Sunday morning. The cats have all eaten and retired to their respective spots in the house to bed down for the day. I’m sitting in the lounge, meditatively sipping my coffee. I was going to read from The Philosophy of Existentialism, a collection of Jean-Paul Sartre’s essays, but I am desperate for a song. I put my AirPods in. I don’t want to disturb the rest of the house.

I need something to match the mood of the morning. It’s cloudy and grey. I chose “Nothing Is As It Seems” a song from the underground creative collective Hidden Citizens. The BBC played this song on the UK version of The Traitors. The song features the haunting vocals of singer/songwriter Ruelle.

As I am typing this, our youngest cat decides she’d rather use my arm as her resting place for the day. She’s light enough for me to keep typing.

I let my mind drift into the lyrics. Ruelle is singing about disillusionment and the struggle to maintain hope in a world that can often seem dark and uncertain. In the verses she describes a sense of being lost and searching for meaning. In the chorus she proclaims that “nothing is as it seems,” suggesting that reality is more complex and nuanced than it appears, a sentiment that has been part of my core philosophy for years. Maybe that’s why I distrust rules.

The song ends. I rejoin the quiet. I still have time to read before the house wakes up.